Am I chasing a mirage?

I recall plenty of cartoons from my childhood where a character is in a desert and an oasis appears on the horizon.  They’re so desperate to believe it’s real that they run blindly towards the promise of palm tree shade and more water than they could drink.  But the closer they get, the further away the mirage appears, until it vanishes entirely.  I’ve come to feel like I’m chasing the mirage of writing success.
 
I admit it, I want to make money from writing.  Why?  Because I love making up stories, I love hearing that people have enjoyed reading what I’ve created, and who wouldn’t want to make a living from doing what they love?
 
I’ve quizzed other writers on this topic, and it seems most do it for the love of writing itself.  But for me, that’s not enough.  Call it vanity if you like, but my ultimate dream is that one day, I’ll see my books on the shelves of Waterstones, people will queue up at my book signings and I’ll be invited to do interviews where I talk about my stories.  Basically, I simply want to ‘make it’ as an author.
 
In the quest to achieve success, I’ve read a lot of stuff about other authors and how long it took them to ‘make it’.  Few had success overnight.  Very, very few.  Most plugged away at their craft for years, sometimes decades until they finally got a break.  I keep telling myself that if I keep going, if I keep listening to feedback and tweaking my style, and if I keep writing more and more that eventually, I’ll write something that loads of people will love.  Enough to make that story a best seller. 
 
But what if I don’t?
 
What if all I’m doing is chasing a mirage?
 
What if I’m destined to never find that oasis, but to simply one day, collapse dead in the desert after spending too long chasing an impossible dream at the expense of all other avenues to success?
 
I sacrifice a lot of valuable time for writing.  Time I could be using to try to build a career in something that will actually make me money, time I could be using for renovations that will increase the value of my house, time I could be spending with my kids.
 
I sacrifice money, too.  I’ve spent thousands on editors and cover designers.  I keep telling myself it’s money well-spent.  I’ve learned so much from the editing process and about what the right cover looks like.  

Is it worth it?

How long can this go on?
 
Maybe I need to re-think why I’m doing this.  Is it for the money, the fame or the fortune that will (probably) never come?  Or is it so that one day, I can say I left a legacy.  A legacy of books.  If they’re not that great, and only a handful of people ever read them, will it still be worth it?
 
I’m not sure.  But right now, I’m still chasing that mirage in the hope it might be real.  I suppose one day I'll either quench my thirst, or I'll die trying - metaphorically at least.